<return address withheld>
February 16, 1990

Her Excellency Margaret Thatcher
10 Downing Street
London
United Kingdom

Dear Madame Prime Minister:

I have been an ardent admirer of yours for a good many years now indeed for a greater part of the eighties and really since your election in 1979. I remember scoffing when they called you the "Iron Lady", but now since you have softened your image by softening the rough edges of your voice in public, they have no reason to use such language to describe your appearance.

I visited your country several years ago, when the election was heating up (1987, the summer). I was, needless to say, glad that you beat that socialist peace-monger, Neil Kinnock, into the ground. I hope you can win the next election with the same driving fervor you took the last one with! I was behind you one hundred percent, as was President Reagan, who, as you may know, has been replaced by Bush.

I cannot say how inspiring it was to see you and Reagan united in common cause against the crippling influence of radical communism! Now that you two have managed to bring Gorbochev to his knees, you can take a breather, but only for a moment! Remember, you’ve got to fight against the machinations of the Labour (why do you spell it that way? I have always wondered) party, who, if they win, will no doubt render all your privatization schemes useless and worse.

How is your husband Dennis doing these days? By the way, what does he do for a living? Are you the bread-winner of the family? I am all for a woman working, but I still think Dennis should get a job if he doesn’t already have one. Perhaps he can go on public speaking tours promoting your party’s line! I say this because I didn’t see him at all during the last campaign and I think it would be good for you and your party to have him out there appearing productive (message to the public: No Slackers in the Conservative Party!).

I am greatly concerned over the possibility of Germany reuniting. Remember what happened the last time we let them regroup? Enough said. Also, be careful in your dealings with the European Economic Community! Don’t let those slacker countries drag England down!

Anyway, keep up the good work! I would be honored if you would send me your photograph. The one I had before was lost in a house-fire. If you would be so good as to send me a replacement, I would be grateful!

Eternally conservative,

Phil Saunders