| CH |
Personal
Ad |
| Hortense
P
 |
"Tall
blonde lesbian dominatrix of the feminique variety seeks robust
playmate for pool games and chain strapping. Me: 37-23-36,
aged 19. You: disease-free robot alien, 5-6 million
years old." |
| Mr.
Roboto
 |
"Disease-free
robot alien, 6 million years young, seeks tall blonde lesbian dominatrix
of the feminique variety for pool games and chain strapping." |
| Auntie
Fenestra
 |
"100%
spit and vinegar! I live a few miles west of Lubbock and own
a gas station/truck stop called Bessie's that gives me a good living.
My friends say I look like Nancy Reagan but I think I look more like
her husband. I live a good clean life, wash my hands after every meal
and shave my legs on a regular basis. I can cook and speak in tongues
on command. So if you're a North Texan, serious NRA-member, owner
of one or more 18-wheelers (a fleet is preferable, I must say) and
love the smell of deisel, then you're my man." |
| Orb
Lustrance the Cape Ape
 |
"Oooh
Darlin', get yer kit off and tits out for Granpa! Toss them
knickers o'er my way, ya li'l Vixen! Tease me w' 'em!
Don't lemme lose it, ya wicked li'l Tramp! Keep me goin' wi'
tha' naughty li'l Tart mouth o' yers! Oooh yes, nasty
like I like it!!!" |
| The
Bridges of Madison County
 |
"Once
heralded literary classic seeks shelfmate to while away those bitter,
lonely hours between readings. Series member-novels or trilogy installments
welcome (but don't bring your mates!). I may be a little dog-eared,
but I'm not ready for the remainder bin yet!" |
| T-Jack Sphere
 |
"What the fuck are you looking at?"
|
| Rub
- A - Dub - Chub
 |
"Sometimes
I get to itching. I never know when or where it will strike next.
I need someone who can get to those hard-to-reach places, and with
quickness and skill! Please hurry!" |
| Hip
- Bone
 |
"I'm
seeking a thigh-bone for a meaningful connection." |
| Weirda
Wall - O - Beee
 |
"Bzzz
Bzzz Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" |
| Victor
 |
"AHHH!
EAAAH! They've put the leeches on me again! OOHH, the stinging!
I try to imagine it as pleasure but the cretins have applied electrodes
to my temples which scramble my thinking! Oh, their fiendish
machines and cylinders, powered by no energy Man can conceive!
ARRRGH!! Now they've unleashed upon me the Fanged Frogs! YYAARRRR!!!" |
| Your
CH |
Your
Personal Ad |
