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SATA
Armageddon
The
World of Abstinence will live on into the Third Millennium! Or will it?
While we here at SATA did not adopt a pessimistic outlook toward the turn
of the millennium, we do believe that the End is indeed Nigh, and part
of the goal of Abstinence is to prepare ourselves (and as many others
as possible, of course) for this inevitability. The only unwise stance
regarding the coming End Times will be to deny them!
So
many people the world over have views on what will happen when Armageddon
arrives. These views are derived from religious texts, meditative insights,
downloaded computer files and media reports--really too many to mention.
Whichever's right, there's not much time left for you to get your Armageddon Ideas heard! Below
are just a few of the thoughts we've received from SATA Members.
If you have something you'd like to share,
email us at the address at the bottom of the page.
Even if you're not a member, please do write in too. And don't
hesitate to send in your picture while you're at it (optional)!
We
won't reveal your name or email address. Just tell us your ideas and your
CH (cyber-handle: mine's X-Rom--not a lot of people know that ;-). If
you don't have your own CH, choose one today! Be sure to write it down
and keep it in a special place, so you won't forget it!
Now,
let's see what we can be looking forward to in the not too distant future!
| CH |
Armageddon
Idea |
| X-ploding
Cabbage
 |
"I
had a dream, and I think it was a prophetic one about the upcoming
end of the world. It was the stroke of midnight, all around the globe,
and the earth 'folded' itself up into the shape of a humungous envelope.
I could see there was an 'intergalactic' stamp on the envelope and
could just make out the address: Mabuko Star System, Andromeda Galaxy.
Do you think this might come true? Do you think we're about to be
mailed to a far away galaxy to start new lives with a new sun and
new planets to send our star probes to? If so, then what should we
do to prepare?" |
| Postum
 |
"You
know, they were all hooting and hollering about the Year 2000 issue/problem/challenge/crisis
in computing, but what are they going to do when 2048 rolls around?
That's going to be the next flashpoint for disaster for PCs the world
over. Now that everything is 'okay' for the Year 2000, they just want
to sit back happily and forget about it! Would you like coffee with
your cigarettes?!! I mean, like, HELLO!!!" |
| Victor
 |
"At
the last seance I attended, the spirit of my great uncle, a former
MORI man, came up from the Pit and possessed the body of our hostess'
dead (taxidermically preserved) ferret. He spoke to us in lowered
and understandably muffled tones to reveal his secrets about the coming
Final Days. One secret I found particularly relevant for SATA was
something he said about abstinence experiencing an upswing or revival
on a world-wide scale. He said that 21% of the world's people would
increase by 45% their dedication to abstinence; and that only 4% of
the world's population would decrease their dedication to abstinence,
and then only by 12% on average. I take these figures as a message
of hope and a harbinger of a brighter future for us all." |
| Mip
Chip
 |
"You
are all kidding right? I'm just going to a party and have fun. Do
you feel you won't be invited to the party? Is that the reason you
talk crazy about the world will come to a close in the hand of a big
Swede tennis star?" |
| Dr.
L.B.
Shippie
 |
"Yes. Panucho
[see Complaints and Monitoring]
thinks
he knows something about the remaining Soviet threat. Well, let me
be compelled to say, He doesn't! I, for in fact, know the Truth about
Roswell! Tell me if this doesn't make sense--the craft which crashed
in the 1947 New Mexico desert was actually a Russian spy plane. Were
bodies recovered? Yes! Dead Reds! Now, do you think our Army would
ever admit that our defenses were so slipshod that a Russian plane
could make it over the Continental U S of A? Hell, they couldn't even
shoot it down! The only reason it crashed is because it ran out of
fuel! So they have kept mum about this. And since then, all these
UFO and EBE stories have been sprouting like weeds! Not a-one of them
true! All lies! And let me say or tell you something else—the Aliens
are pissed that we believe they are so dumb that they crash willy-nilly
into planets, like a teenager on prom night, crashing his daddy's
Buick. I mean, they are really PISSED and that's why they are set
to invade, just any moment now." |
| N
Da No
 |
"As
a card carrying lifetime member and representative of the Neelix Worshippers
of Sol III, I command that everyone listening cut their hair in the
shape and form and color of our true spiritual master Lord Neelix
of V'ger! And put on the uniforms of loyal crewpersons! I commission
you all as officers in the great Trek geek army that spreads across
both the known and unknown universe! And await with me and my professional
crew up on the nose of Theodore 'Teddy' Roosevelt, where we will be
listening for the Beam-Up call! It's the only way we'll be able to
escape our home world when the evil Borg comes!!" |
| Your
CH |
Your
Armageddon Idea |
CeTeRa
DeSuNt
Get in touch anytime at
Remember that address - It could just
save you from the Fiend - he hates abstinence!
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