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Complaints and Monitoring
Complaints and monitoring suggestions from everywhere on earth!
Abstinence isn't just about not doing things you know you shouldn't. It's
also about bringing to the attention of the world the things that really
rankle. And it's about reporting others (people/groups/places/ideas) that
could benefit from a healthy dose of monitoring. We at SATA have put
together this page as your forum for complaints and monitoring suggestions.
So email us at the address at the bottom of the page to send us your ideas. Even if you're
not a Member, feel free to share with us too. And we'll even publish
your picture if you send it in!
We won't tell anyone your name or email address. Just send us your complaint
or monitoring suggestion and your CH (cyber-handle: mine's X-Rom--don't wear
it out!). If you don't have your own CH, simply make one up. Don't forget to
write it down, so you'll remember it!
But let's not waste a moment more on these technicalities - let's have at
it!
|
CH |
Complaint/Monitoring Suggestion |
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ElViSfAn
 |
"Ow
- I'm in pain! The other nite my girlfriend tried to convince me I'm
capable of autofellatio and now I've got a pinched nerve in my back,
causing pain from my lower back into my neck and all the way out to the
palm of my hand. All this for a little foreplay!? How hard can it be to
understand 'no, I'm not that flexible!'?? Now she's gotta understand: 'I
think I need a little breathing space, you sex fiend!'" |
|
Johanna 222
 |
"I've already trained my dog to be a vegan (you have to start when he's
a pup), but now I'd like to train him to abstain from sex. I never
had him neutered because it simply isn't natural, but whenever I'm
running him in the park near our house he's always trying to mate with
the other owners' dogs.
Now I know there
are websites out there that provide this sort of information as a public
service. One such site taught me how to turn Rascal into a vegan.
I can't find a site to tell me how to 'turn off' his interest in sex,
but that information must be out there somewhere. Wouldn't it be
more convenient for all of us if SATA had an 'Abstinence for Pets'
section?" |
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Embrittled
 |
"And
I don't care what Little Timmy says, I will NOT have the 'operation'
next year when I turn 75. Timmy says the Government now requires us to
have 2 full inches surgically removed from our femurs, so that the
elderly are more easily identified by short stature, or else have their
Social Security revoked. I'm already only 5'2! When will it end?" |
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Spore Kleer
 |
"Now
I know a lot of SATA Members smoke. I used to smoke a lot.
Sometimes two cigarettes at once. Sometimes more. But I gave
up smoking and now am involved in a crusade to punish smokers who
haven't yet given up. I find this attitude entirely natural and
logical so don't even try to call me mean spirited or tarbrush me with
cries of HYPOCRITE. But all my critics, you have to admit, are smokers, so who cares what they think?
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I Will Shave Your
Teeth
 |
"I
agree with Mole Hole. When I joined SATA things were quieter and
far more respectable. Now look at it! They have that rogue
Qaq writing obscenities left and right
and mocking the whole concept of Abstinence! What is he? The
Anti-Christ? Why doesn't the Board *do something*?!!" |
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Mole Hole
 |
"SATA,
you are just getting too big for your britches! I have been a member
since the website began (and I will continue to Abstain, you can bank on
that!) but I'm starting to reconsider. With so many people crowding
around, it seems to me like an evitable backlash is about to set in. I
liked it when it was cozy. Don't be paving Paradise so that more people
can visit! Please tell me despite all the growth, we can all still be
who we are, without worrying about a system bigger than us all coming to
crush the living daylights!" |
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A. Mervyn
 |
"Dadgummit!
And on the Eve of Saint Valentine's Day no less, I log onto this
wonderful site and what do I see instead of the reassuring presence of
my beloved Abstinence Society? A bunch of internet PORN!! And not even
good porn--this was some kind of depraved kiddie-bondage porn that had
the stink of the French all over it! I was too upset to go to church,
and spent the rest of the morning applying cold compresses wherever
appropriate. Please don't let this happen again!" [Editor's Note: We
here at SATA were, not surprisingly, just as taken aback by the
hijacking of the SATA site by Internet Pirates as anyone else.
Please refer to the Porn Piracy page for
detailed information and breaking news on this disturbing incident.] |
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MC P-Nut Butt-R
 |
"Yes, and I would like to have a recommendation to all SATA Members, and
it is thus: being of sound mind but monetarily challenged, I have come
up with the idea of contacting the Make A Wish Foundation, and posing as
someone who is either (and I don't want to step on anyone's toes here)
brainwave challenged, or physically retarded, or whatever they want to
call it, and writing a tear-jerking essay and then winning a trip to
somewhere to make my dream come true. So far this has worked three
times: the Foundation has sent me to Disney World (where I rode Space
Mountain until I puked!), and to the Grand Canyon (where I went on a
three-day hike, and got to wrestle a bear for my baloney sandwich!), and
also to a taping of the Jerry Springer Show (I wasn't in a fight, but I
did get to see one!). I think it's all right to indulge ourselves this
way, at the expense of large multinational Foundations, who don't know
what to do with all their money anyway! Enjoy!" |
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Rib-I
 |
"I
have a proposal that I want you to listen to. I am sick and tired of
people not listening to me. I try to speak and they ignore me. You can't
know how frustrating this is unless you find that people ignore you too,
especially when you have something really important to say. Well, now
that I've become a member of SATA I can have my day in court, so listen
up! I think SATA should have a Members Page with info about members and
links to their home pages. If you agree with me, email SATA with your support. Thank you
for listening. Aren't you glad you did?" |
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Panucho
 |
"I
want to report a group who needs to be monitored before it's too late
for us all. I mean of course the Russian (formerly known as 'Soviet', in
case you forgot) Generals. These desperate men are stockpiling nuclear
materials, guns and food in preparation for World War Three. With terror
cells scattered across the globe (there's probably one in your home
town), they are readying for an all-out blitz on government buildings,
schools and churches to trigger a world-wide holocaust of global
proportions. And I fear, as do many like me, that Putin is unable to
contain the evil fury of these resolute and determined men." |
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Your CH |
Your Complaint/Monitoring Suggestion |
CeTeRa DeSuNt
Get in touch anytime at
Remember that address - It could just
save you from the Fiend - he hates abstinence!
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