SATA ATTACKED by "Porn Pirates"!

SATA victimized
lawyers, psychics consulted...
suspects confronted

In the early hours of Sunday morning (EST) on the 13th of February 2000, the SATA (then known as TASP) website was taken over by Porn Pirates.

These ruthless hoodlums replaced the (then Geocities-hosted) SATA homepage with a gateway to the puerile world of internet sleaze.

Click the pic to uncover the full horror!

After having received numerous understandably anxious and frustrated emails from Society Members about this unconscionable criminal interference, yours truly, X-Rom, contacted Geocities several times to bring this disturbing matter to their attention.  So serious was the security breach that Geocities took more than two hours to get the situation under control.

In the days that followed, evidence of the break-in was assiduously gathered, legal and psychic advice was sought, and the hunt for the saboteurs was on!  Only now, with the benefit of hindsight, can the entire event be viewed and understood with any degree of objectivity.

Day 1: Email complaints from no fewer than 17 enraged Society Members flood into X-Rom's inbox.  X-Rom investigates and determines that indeed a security breach has occurred.  He immediately contacts Geocities.  He is forced to email them repeatedly before any noticeable action is taken.  No less than two hours after his first having contacted Geocities is the intrusion repelled.  The matter is handed over to Society lawyers and to Gem Ma and her world-respected internet psychic team.

Day 2: Initial results from Gem Ma and her psychic team are in and the finger of suspicion points to some person or persons with the following characteristics:

1. he or she is someone with an axe to grind--perhaps someone recently ejected from the Society;

2. he or she is someone with an interest in and knowledge of computers and computer cracking;

3. he or she is someone with a predilection for non-mainstream porn: in particular, gay bondage;

4. he or she is French; and

5. he or she is probably a "they" (i.e., it is probably a conspiracy).

After being confronted with these facts, the Society Board immediately constitutes a special investigative committee.

Day 3: Membership lists and email correspondence going back years are scoured for clues.  Almost as soon as apparently promising theories are constructed, they're shot down.

Theory 1: Early findings suggest that Sandpaper Saltlick, a now disgraced ex-Member of the Society, may be involved.  Our records show also that he is one of the "net-heads" in alt.config and the moderator of another newsgroup focusing on a science-fiction television program--so he clearly fits the above criteria numbers 1 and 2 quite well.

After being confronted with our evidence, Sandpaper Saltlick "categorically" denies ever having anything to do with any kind of computer cracking.  Further, he writes, "I wouldn't even be able to send this email if I didn't have my mother on hand to show me how to do it."

Day 4: Reeling from what they unwittingly believe to be the failure of their first theory to bear fruit, the Society's special investigative committee rebounds with a second:

Theory 2:  Ming Le Roi, the audacious transvestite "madam" of one of Soho's most famous S&M/B&D clubs/brothels admitted to the Society on September 12, 1999, becomes the next focus of the committee's attention (he/she clearly fits criteria numbers 3 and 4 and may fit the others as well).

After being confronted with our evidence, a spokeslesbian for one of his/her business enterprises responds: "The person you know as Ming Le Roi is no longer with us and has not been with us since January of this year [2000].  Besides, his/her real name was Lawrence McLeod.  He/she was/is a Scot, not a fucking Frog.  Please remove him/her from your member lists."

Day 5: The apparent collapse of their second theory leaves the committee stunned and temporarily disheartened.  No new theories present themselves today.

The SATA legal team recommends the immediate removal of the site from Geocities given their clearly negligent attitude toward computer security.  Yours truly, X-Rom, begins making plans to move the SATA site to a new host.

Day 6: Lo Trump, one of the highly decorated members of Gem Ma's psychic team, has a flash of inspiration, so to speak.  She has seen in her mind's eye the ghostly ethereal residues of the co-conspirators actually committing the illegal act.  This leads to the formation of the third, and final, theory:

Theory 3: Sandpaper Saltlick and Ming Le Roi are now believed to have worked together in the hijacking of the SATA site.  As Lo Trump tells us:

"Even if you doubt the validity of my own psychic experience,  it's clear that Sandpaper Saltlick obviously knows more about computers and computer cracking than he is letting on.  He may live with his mother, but she's not in any position to help him send emails (my Indian Head penny tells me that she's a rotting corpse he keeps locked up in his attic). And as for Ming Le Roi, it's obvious that his/her spokeslesbian is lying just to throw us off the scent!"

The real beauty of this theory is that it successfully unites all five criteria put forward by Gem Ma's psychic team.  And since, as they say, beauty is truth, so this theory then must be true!

Day 7: With the mystery solved and all evidence turned over to the appropriate authorities, everyone involved in this investigation takes a breather--a moment to reflect and to gather his or her thoughts before moving on to other, more pressing matters. <BGSOUND SRC="doing.au">

CeTeRa DeSuNt

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