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Personal
Ads: True Romance
Submit your personal ad today, but hurry--space is extremely limited!
To send in your ad or respond to one already here, simply
email us at the
address at the bottom of the page.
| CH |
Personal
Ad |
| Mould
Phuster
 |
"Ageing
green-haired auto mechanic devil-worshipper, 50, seeks PYT to share
cold, dank two-room council flat in Bootle. Looks unimportant as long
as you're pretty; age irrelevant as long as you're young. I'm here
for you now, ready and waiting!" |
| Muckle
Mary
 |
"Trapped
in a paddock all by myself in the middle of the rutting season, I'm
a stylish and clean-living Shetland mare, smooth coat, excellent breeding
stock, unusually randy temperament. My ideal mate? A bad-boy stud
with completely dishonourable intentions. If you're headed for the
glue factory any time soon, you ain't headed my way, baby!!" |
| Angelica
 |
"I
know what's on your mind because I put it there. Words don't impress
me. Only actions count. So straighten up in that chair and contact
me now." |
| Donald
P. Otasco
 |
"I
don't want to send a picture because I don't trust the internet. But,
following the death of my sweet wife Maxine, I am looking for a new
love. There is much to be done here on the ranch, particularly in
the pre-dawn hours before I wake up. I am 67, heavily wrinkled, smoke
only 4 packs (Kool) per day. I have a fine, fine outlook on life.
I require a white woman, good looking, preferably young, though I
am open to suggestions, as long as you are not an Indian escaped from
the Reservation!" |
| Torn
Tears for Soulwaste 
|
"Tori
Amos, Bauhaus, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Black Tape for a Blue Girl,
Love Spirals Downwards, Lycia, London After Midnight, Siouxsie, Placebo,
Roxy Music, This Mortal Coil, Twisted Sister, Soul Whirling Somewhere,
Cranes, The Tear Garden, Cocteau Twins, Dead Can Dance, Collide, Delirium,
Malign, Faith and the Muse, Joy Division, The Shroud, Skinny Puppy,
12 Rounds, Sisters of Mercy, Doom Crash Pod, Pink Floyd, The Cars,
Duran Duran, New Order, Culture Club, The Smiths, My Life With The
Thrill Kill Kult, Ministry, Frontline Assembly, The Doors... I
woke up screaming in someone else's grave and all along it was you
I was dreaming about." |
| Grunt
Grunt Emilie
 |
"Aging
foul-mannered harridan looking for teenage goth toiboi (under 16 preferred)
to share gloomy thoughts and painful feelings of abjection and alienation.
Help me apply my makeup and I'll help you with yours. What are
you waiting for? Don't make me cast another spell." |
| SC3845
- J534 33DL
 |
"Non-truthfully
accused of a legal difference I did not commit (involving the
alleged non-passive relocation of an oppressor-class
transportational unit on a consent-free basis), I'm now an
involuntary client of the South Carolina State Prison System.
But the only thing I'm guilty of, baby, is loving you!
So take a chance--and make a cyber-date with me today!" |
| Small
Fry
 |
"I
had a dream that I was a scarecrow in a field of corn and there was
a storm going on. I was struck by lighting and glowed in the night's
darkness, just like in the drawing I'm sending in with this personal
ad. In the dream there was also a girl looking at me while I was being
shocked by the thunder. Judging by her face, I think she had an Italian
background like me. If you're that girl and you read this, please
write in so we can hook up. There are forces at work that are stronger
than you and me...I'm talking DESTINY!!" |
| Anna
Logg
 |
"Antiquated
45 player would like to hook up with genuinely caring high-speed CD-ROM
drive (at least 24x) for some seriously intense data-stream transfers.
Letter with photo guarantees a response!" |
| Gill
Bates
 |
"Hi,
my name is Gill Bates (not my real name) and I like fly-fishing, Rammstein, wedgies, canned dog
food and computers. I'm looking for the kind of girl who looks
good (I mean real good) but isn't afraid to be seen in public with
a guy like me (who has a criminal record)." |
| Your
CH |
Your
Personal Ad |
CeTeRa
DeSuNt
Get in touch anytime at
Remember that address - It could just
save you from the Fiend - he hates abstinence!
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